The Avengers: Age of Ultron


The Avengers: Age of Ultron is a strange sort of disappointment of a movie in that it’s definitely not bad, because it really isn’t, but it’s a movie that seems to be on autopilot for a good chunk of it. Its heart isn’t in it, yet it still has a vibrancy and a life that wants to be so much more.

Marvel, as a film studio, has made some really good movies (The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy being surprise hits), and they’ve made some mediocre movies, but they have never really made a bad movie. Even their laziest outing beats the shit out of whatever the hell Transformers sequel that ends up coming out every couple years. Did the last one have dinosaurs in it? Jesus Christ.

So, this second Avengers movie just feels weirdly rushed, which, given its pretty gargantuan running time, is a bit odd. I guess the most common criticism of this movie is that it feels like it has too much it wants to do. And that just about sums it up. Instead of telling like twenty different little stories, just tell us the one big story you want to tell and tell it well. Ultron is a big and scary, right? A worldwide threat? Cool, great. Tell us that story. That’s what I want to hear.

James Spader, as the voice of Ultron, is really good and I actually wish there was more of him. He made salient points about why he wanted to be evil, and it was engaging to watch. His scenes were truly some of the best stuff in the whole movie. That, and the Hulk/Black Widow romantic angle.

My thing is this: Does Black Widow really need to be showing so much titty when she’s fighting crime? Is that wholly necessary? Oh, it is? Okay, then.

I ponied up the extra dough to see it in 3D and I’m glad I did. The special effects in this outing are outstanding. They’re really good. Normally, I absolutely loathe an over-abundance of CGI in an action movie, but Marvel is so good with their digital effects, I really don’t mind. I don’t! Maybe some of Ultron’s robotic minions would have looked better as a practical effect, but their integration into the actual action of the movie looked really, really good.

Right now, with all these bills that came up all at once, I’m a little broke, so I’ve been having to be really smart about spending money. I was the designated driver for my girlfriend at some whiskey taste test thing and I ended up getting paid $25 for my participation (she got fifty, but I digress). So, here’s what $25 can get you: Two student-discounted tickets to a 3D movie, a medium soda (if you have the loyalty cup) and two cheese tornadoes from Circle K. That’s… hey, that’s a date night right there. I still have ten cents left.

Anyway, Age of Ultron is definitely worth seeing. It wasn’t quite as action crazy at the ending like the first one was, but it was a bit of a disappointment to see it end in kind of the same vein. Ultron required a bigger story that wasn’t so chaos-oriented. We needed more time with the actual Avengers. I feel like they were all there, but spread too thin amid too many things happening.

In either case, I think that Captain America’s Civil War movie and the third Avengers, all to be handled by the Russo Brothers, are going to be fan-fucking-tastic.

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